"Envying the life of someone else and wondering why it isn't your life is natural."
I've been reading a book called New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp since a little before the new year and this is a sentence that jumped out at me this morning. Not only did it intrigue me because of how honest it is, but also because I was planning on writing a blog post around this topic today and reading this felt all too perfect.
Have you ever found yourself looking at someone else and judging them for something they're doing? Have you ever been surprised at someones hobbies or job, but found yourself saying something negative about it? Have you ever seen someone choosing to go against the crowd and live the life that they love, but look down at them for it? Recently, I caught myself doing this. I was talking to a friend about their sibling and they mentioned to me that they didn't drink. It wasn't because they were an alcoholic or they had any sort of problem, it just didn't interest them to do so. Naturally, I thought that was weird. I come from a family who likes to have fun and who likes to enjoy a drink while doing so. I found myself then beginning to make assumptions in my head: oh she's probably boring, does she go out with friends still?, is she fun to be around? But then I stopped myself. A bigger question popped into my mind: why am I judging this girl for choosing to live her life differently than mine? And then I realized. The reason we judge others, talk down on others, look at others in a negative way is because usually, we envy something about them.
Drinking is something that, like I said, has been a part of my family's lifestyle for as long as I can remember. Quick disclaimer: I don't see anything wrong with it, I'm just talking about my personal experience! I didn't start drinking more regularly until college probably; however, throughout my high school years, I would have a drink or two on vacation with my family or with friends on the weekend. It was more of an occasion thing back then. If you are currently in college or attended in the past, you know that Tuesday-Saturday there's pretty much always an excuse to drink. Whether it's tequila Tuesdays or wine down Wednesday, there's always something that involves drinking going on. If that's something you enjoy doing, I'm not judging you! You do you. However, that so was not my thing until this past semester at my new college. I know a lot of you who read this will probably be like what are you talking about? You drink all the time! And you're right, I have been drinking a lot for the past 6 months. However, if you know me pretty well, you also know that I love health and fitness. You know I love taking care of my body. You know I love exploring and going on adventures and blogging about said adventures. And you also know that recently, I've realized it's become something I don't want to continue to do. At least the way I've been drinking lately. This past semester, drinking hasn't done anything for me other than cause me to gain weight, make poor decisions, blackout, and give me a gnarly hangover that causes me to waste the entire next day feeling foggy and depressed (legit, I feel like my anxiety heightens and I'm sad for like 2 days after a big night of drinking, lol). Don't get me wrong, I had fun too. I made good memories and I don't regret doing what I did. But I just know that isn't me or how I want to continue living my life.
So, when I found myself judging that girl for not drinking, I realized the only reason I was looking down on her for that was because honestly, I wish I didn't drink. I wish that I had more friends who didn't drink or did things other than go out on the weekends (I luv my friends pls don't think I'm bashing you or not wanting to be your friend anymore ily, lol). It's not that I'm saying I never want to drink again, but I want it to be more of an occasion thing. I don't want to wake up every weekend feeling like shit because of the crappy beer and cheap wine I drank the night before anymore. It's not worth it to me anymore. I don't need alcohol to have a good time, so why do I do so if it doesn't improve my life or my mental/physical health? Look, I'm not here to shit on drinking. I like getting drunk with my friends too and I probably still will every now and again. But I'm just saying I've realized its something that does more harm than good (for me) and don't want to make it a part of my lifestyle anymore. That's all I'm going to say.
What I really want to discuss is that what we see in others, is a reflection of ourselves. I was envious that the girl I mentioned previously didn't drink, so I made a judgement on her. If you find yourself picking out flaws in others or talking negatively about them, chances are, you're really picking out things that you see in yourself that you're unhappy with. I know. It's tough pointing the finger back at yourself. But if we're not envious of how someone else is living, why else would we be talking about them or passing judgement? Think about it; if you're happy, content, and truly in love with the way you live your life, would you feel the need to judge someone else for there's? Probably not. Because honestly, the way someone else lives is none of your business. It is their life. But if you find yourself making it your business, ask yourself why? I bet its's because they're doing something you wish you were. And if that's the case, don't look at them like they're the ones that need to change, maybe you should think about what you want to change about your own life.
Side note: I don't want anyone thinking I'm an alcoholic, I have a problem, or I'm making a huge drastic lifestyle change, lol. I'm okay. I will probably still drink. I just want to change the way I've been drinking. So please, do not be messaging me asking if I need help or thinking more of the situation I AM FINE lol. This was just something that made me realize that when we judge others, we're really just envious. It just got me thinking and I thought I'd share.
Love to you all. Let me know if you like little written posts on topics. I feel like I've been doing a lot more fashion, tips, and lifestyle posts recently and haven't done opinion type posts in a while. So, let me know if this is something you'd like to see more of because I really miss writing posts about my thoughts on things!