The Truth About the Truth

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The truth is, the truth sucks. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t feel the need to lie to one another. Although honesty might not be what everyone wants to hear, it will most always set you free; and I believe that with my whole heart.

Honesty is undoubtedly the one trait that I value the most. I gravitate towards people with the ability to speak the truth and form relationships where honesty is at the forefront on both ends. Which, as a result, is why many of my friends have no problem telling me that I’m being foolish, making a mistake, acting poorly, or that my outfit is awful. The last bit usually goes in one ear and out the other, because if I think an outfit rocks I couldn’t care less what my loser friends think (see, honesty at it’s best); however most of the time, I value their honesty because it allows me to take a step back and look critically at my actions and self. Their honesty gives me the ability to realize my wrongdoing and fix or change the way I’m going about any aspect of life. It helps me grow. It helps me be and do better.

Honesty has also allowed me to confront people or situations, and decide how to move forward from them. I am not a perfect human, even though I like to think I’m pretty fabulous. I make mistakes. I wrong others. I hurt people’s feelings because I’m only thinking of my own. These are all things that, as a human being, I will continue to do. However, instead of lying about the things that I’ve done; instead of not telling people the truth and being honest about my mistakes, I own up to them. I take full responsibility and admit to all of the things I did or mistakes that I made, even if it’s not what they want to hear. Even if it will do more harm than good. Why? Because the truth always comes out. If you think for a second that you can really take anything to the grave, that is wishful thinking. I mean, I guess we wouldn’t actually know if people succeed in taking their secrets to the grave because they’re dead, and they can’t resurrect like, “YO fools, I been lyin’ and y’all aint even know it, haha sux for you, you just keep on livin’ in ignorant bliss, I still aint tellin’, peace out.” I firmly believe that no matter the efforts you go through, no matter how long you “succeed” in telling a lie, sooner or later the truth will come out.

In my experience, it’s better to find out the truth both sooner, and from the person themselves; as opposed to hearing about it from an acquaintance 6 months down the line. That never goes well for anyone. It’s for this very reason that I tell everyone the truth right away. You might be thinking, “but sometimes the truth does do more harm than good,” and you’re right. There are certain situations where maybe the whole truth wouldn’t do anyone good, however those situations are few and far between. Most of the time, I’ve found that if the truth does harm to my relationship with an individual, then it was supposed to. Either we weren’t in the right mental and physical state to have a relationship at that current moment, or we weren’t compatible as friends/partners to begin with. Whichever it is, it’s better to know the value and significance of a relationship when shit hits the fan, rather than hang onto something that functions off of lying to one another over and over. If a person or relationship isn’t right for you, it’s better to find out as soon as possible to save yourself and that person more hurt and frustration. Telling the truth and being honest about your wrongdoings will allow the other person to either forgive you so that you guys can grow and move on with your relationship/lives, or show you both that this relationship isn’t working and you’d be better off going your separate ways.

If you’re one of those people that is sensitive to honesty, try and understand that the truth doesn’t always have to be harsh. Sure, honesty is usually going to come across as critical, especially if it’s about you. If the person telling you the truth is doing it in a cruel, malicious, and disrespectful way, take their opinion/truth with a grain of salt or not at all. But if the person telling you the truth is someone who is genuine and has your best interest at heart, take their honesty and grow from it. If we were all a little more honest with one another, our relationships and lives would be so much more authentic, rich, and fulfilling.