my four go-to drink orders at a bar

Let’s just talk about the elephant in the room — because I know those of you who know me are going to say it if I don’t — I don’t go out often. It’s a rarity! An occasion! The event of the century! I wish I was being dramatic.

Truthfully, I’ve sort of grown up around drinking. Not in a problematic way — I just come from a family who likes their wine and likes having a good time. That being said, access to alcohol wasn’t an issue. Our snack pantry included a fridge exclusively for Coors Light, Stella Ciders, ginger beer, and Not Your Father’s Rootbeer. While I definitely tried to be a “rebel” and sneak some beer up to my room while having sleepovers, I never needed to. Again, not meaning this in a problematic way, but my parents were really open about alcohol, and taught my brother and I how to drink/party responsibly. They also knew that we were going to do it anyway, and felt better about it if we were doing it around them in case we were, idk, like, irresponsible, niave 18 year olds?

What I’m getting at is that because I grew up around it, I kind of grew out of partying after sophomore year of college. I know I’m only 21, and this is like my ~prime~ party years, but honestly I have the hangovers of a 40 year old woman and my attention span for gossip about how Susie & Sally are in a fight because they hooked up with the same frat boy is about 1.7 seconds. I’d rather be in my pjs, curled up with a book or a movie I’ve seen 23 times, and some gluten-free, dairy-free dessert. Also, we all know that I’m a health + fitness freak. I don’t want to consume x amount of empty calories and sugary drinks that are only going to make me sleep through a workout or wake up with a swollen face. Might be a lame excuse, but I’m just being #real!

You might be wondering, why do you even go out or drink at all then? Well, here’s my problem Tiffany, I love a good drinking buzz. Every now & then, I want to have a cocktail and dance at a bar with my girl friends and tell a creepy dude who won’t stop staring at us to fuck off. I mean, there’s just something so empowering about that. Not sure if that’s politically incorrect of me to admit, but it doesn’t matter — if that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right. 

Moral of the story is that, at heart, I’m a 47 year old house wife who just wants to get a buzz on once a week with some girlfriends without consuming too much sugar and waking up with a gnarly hangover. (Side note — I’m literally just now remembering that I took a Zantac & charcoal pills before having my first beverage last night. I am, in fact, a 47 year old woman.)

If you’re team #smart boozin like me, keep reading below to find out my go-to drink orders.


these are drinks that I would order a second (or third) round of.

VODKA soda lime


low sugar

TASTE: I hope you like vodka



Low sugar

taste: I hope you like tequila


these are drinks that I would order to enjoy. I only order one, and then switch to one of the drinks above.

Skinny Margarita

calories: around 130-180 depending on size

sugar: usually under 10g

taste: less sweet, more tart than a regular margarita. you know its a good one if you can taste the tequila. if you don’t want to wake up feeling puffy, skip the salt. however, since I limit myself to one, that rim better be fully covered.


Calories: anywhere from 140-220 depending on brand

sugar: between 20-25g

taste: sweet, smooth, and bubbly. I love beer, but I can’t drink it because gluten makes me feel like shit. hard cider is gluten free, since its made from apples, so I like to indulge in one every now and then — especially if it’s a local beer or a special. my favorite brands are Stella Artois Cidre and Smith & Forge Hard Cider — although, there are brands that make lower calorie ciders if you prefer a lower calorie option.

On the rare occasion that I do go to the bars, I’m ordering one of these four drinks. I strive for balance, so that’s why I will enjoy one higher sugar, higher calorie beverage if I’m feeling like it. However, if the main goal is get a buzz, ya girl is going for a vodka or tequila soda and not turnin’ back.

SHARE WITH ME! I’m always open to trying new things, so let me know your go-to drink order in the comments below!